I am a lover of what is
because it hurts when I argue with reality
(PORTUGUÊS) (NEDERLANDS)
Life is light.
Or do you think it's heavy?
Sometimes?
Or always?
Is it true that life is light or heavy?
I ask that question to myself if life becomes weighty.
I don't really have an answer and I do feel that as a thinking being, I decide the weight myself. There is no one to do that for me. There is no circumstance that determines the weight.
I actually do that myself.
I look at nature and that is easy for me because I live in the middle of it. All I see is nature. No houses, no people. And when I make time to study that nature I see and feel that life has the same weight for nature (namely none) and since we humans are also nature, equipped with an extra (the thinking mind), every sunrise should also be a celebration for us. It is not so I notice when I contemplate humans.
That weight, I think, is because we do not make proper use of our thinking, of that amazing, unique ability. We are not in charge of the mind shall I say. Thinking does its own thing in the absence of guidance.
Actually, we humans should be taught from childhood to learn to think and train until we can manage and control it. Like learning to talk and walk.
It takes daily effort to master something. There are many ways to get to grips with your thinking. The ancient philosophers were already working on it and today a lot of teachers and Gurus. Thank goodness because the more people engage in this, the more peace on earth.
One such teacher is Byron Katie. She is the only one who has put on the table a simple way to examine your thinking without outside help. Believe me. I am an expert by experience. The only downside to her work is that you are thrown back on yourself and that is difficult for many people. Because when you find out that you have set your whole life up to be the victim of everything and everyone around you, all the so-called certainties you had thought up for yourself turn out to be worth nothing. Besides, some people are addicted to their way of generating attention and they can't give it up right away. After all, everything takes time.
Katie called her work The Work. And yes, it is hard work in which sincerity and loving yourself play important roles.
I came across her work around 1997 and was immediately fascinated by its simplicity. Although I am more of the self-study kind, I still went to America in 1999 to take a training/schooling with her. And do you know why? Because it works! For me.
What hit me like a bomb were four observations that since that first time in 1997, have held more truth for me every day. I quote:
1. There are only three kinds of business: Mine, yours and God's
(for me God means reality, because it rules)
When my mind is preoccupied with your or God's affairs, separation and loneliness result.
When you live your life, and I - mentally - also live your life, who cares about me? No wonder I feel lonely. Being mentally in other people's business keeps me from minding my own.
It is pure arrogance to assume that I know what is best for you. In the long run, can I know more than you or than God about your life and well-being? That arrogance produces stress, fretting and restlessness.
2. Fear | Fear is just two things.
Someone is going to take away what I own or someone may not give me what I want.
3. That what is, is | I have simply stopped contradicting reality.
How do I know the wind should blow? It blows. How do I know this is something of the highest order? It happens. Resisting “that what is” is like teaching a cat to bark. Hopeless business.
I know that reality is good the way it is, because when I resist it, I feel tension and frustration. It feels unnatural and unbalanced. When I recognise that fact, my behaviour becomes clear, friendly, fearless, simple, fluid and effortless.
4. The order of creation | Thinking - Feeling - Acting - Having
A tense feeling is the result of attaching to a prior belief. We think, have a feeling and then react to that feeling. In an attempt to change our feelings, we reach for something outside ourselves (relationships, sex, food, alcohol, drugs) as temporary comfort and under the assumption that we have things under control.
When I feel tense, I examine my thinking (do The Work) and notice that the feeling changes - order takes the place of chaos. Chaos is the result of attaching to an untrue idea, an idea that is true in my eyes until I examine it. As long as it is not examined, the original lie spawns many more ideas. This is a hopeless attempt to prove that something that can never lead to peace or a solution would be true. (End of quote).
No more and no less. Life is light. We make it heavy because we don't understand how our valuable thinking works. We are not victims of others or circumstances, we are victims of that underestimated thinking that demands guidance.
Thank you for reading Liesbeth Steur. I publish about my life and work in the mountains of Portugal, about yoga as it was originally intended and about issues related to becoming aware of our motivations in life. Subscribe to not miss anything.
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