#WoW | Conversing

Listening without judgement and with an open mind

A friendly conversation

(PORTUGUÊS) (NEDERLANDS)

I regard conversing as an art that used to be cultivated. An art most dear to my heart. Having a conversation where participants don't just showcase their thoughts. No. Participants listening without instant judgement about what is being said. Just listening. Being quiet in your head, because there is never any intention to have your pee on it or climb the ladder of suffering. 

Conversation: an informal, usually private, talk in which two or more people exchange thoughts, feelings, or ideas, or in which news or information is given or discussed

For example, one person talks about his complicated experience with the Tax Office. Another has immediate advice and talks at length about his wars with that authority. And yet another may tell a story where the suffering is even greater. 

Yet another tells a story in which the name of a known person he apparently knows falls. In terms of understanding the story, that name is absolutely irrelevant. And of course there is someone in the company who also starts name-dropping. In my view, that is not a conversation. That's more like bragging or egos wanting to be heard. In fact, there is actually no interest in the speaker. I quickly get bored in such gatherings and wonder how I actually got there in that place, at that time.

How nice it would be if people could listen to each other. Especially with divergent opinions and ideas. That would be a blessing. Listening and hearing whether the other opinion contains truth. With an open mind. All your limiting stories overboard. Instead of immediately chopping off heads by putting on a big mouth to hide your own fear. Fear of that things might be completely different from what you think. Fear of losing face.

I know well that not so long ago we could have a conversation with anyone - from communist to materialist, from all pigments to Caucasian - about each other's worldview and just have a beer while doing so. Then we would talk about everyday things. Nothing going on. Deep in my heart, I wish it was still like this. 

As a matter of fact, my life is full of conversation. I have three people with whom I can talk about anything. My Rotterdam husband Coen who is a good listener with a strong opinion, my barely octogenarian friend Barry who is a born philosopher with special life experience and my friend Maria-Teresa who lives with nature and lets life happen in wonder. She has a great ability to put things into perspective. And as a writer, I converse with myself, in my head and when it gets too busy there, I start writing and the words that appear on the screen let me understand life. 

#WoW on X/Twitter means Write on Wednesday or Word of Week. Every Wednesday, one of the participants of this group, Karin, or Irene comes up with a word you can write about (blogging, vlogging or plogging). Nothing is compulsory, everything is allowed. You can join at any time.